your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
