i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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