Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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