Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
