the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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