and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
