Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
