i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
