smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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