You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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