Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
