Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
