Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
