He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
