So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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