you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is it because I queefed?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
