I want to walk on stilts...naked
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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