Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
