Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
