Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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