At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I lost the right to judge tonight
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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