Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
