Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
