I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
