it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
