Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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