he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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