Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
