You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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