he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
