apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
