The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
