This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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