it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
