It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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