i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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