he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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