so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
