If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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