this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
