Well douche your snatch and let's go!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
