i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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