So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
