Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
