Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
