this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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