I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
