Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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