i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
