so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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