Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
